The Three Diamond Door - Bushwick

211 Knickerbocker Ave. (Google Map)

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Brooklyn’s best bathrooms - The bathroom at Three Diamond Door in Bushwick

The Three Diamond Door is my neighborhood watering hole. I would call it a “diamond in the rough” for the sake of the pun, but frankly it is hard to refer to my neighborhood as “rough” seeing as how there are at least six places to buy CBD soda within a 500-foot radius of my apartment building. Also, I don’t really care for puns. They’re witty, sure, but I prefer more nuanced, even high concept humor—this shouldn’t come as a surprise, seeing as how I just described my neighborhood based on the availability of CBD soda.

Taking a pause from this bathroom review to let you know that I am insufferable.

Taking a pause from this bathroom review to let you know that I am insufferable.

I point out my proximity to Three Diamond Door just to acknowledge that there may be concern over neighborhood nepotism. Nay! I would never let something like sentimentality get between me and the truth, the full truth, and nothing but the toilet truth.

However, I will say that in terms of accessibility (a key criteria for these critiques), Three Diamond Door easily surpasses all other Brooklyn bathrooms thus far. There are at least three, maybe four bathrooms in the bar—and no, I’m not going to go back and count for fact checking purposes. Journalistic integrity is important, but the point is I’ve never had to count the number of bathrooms at Three Diamond Door because there’s always one available. This is one of the tragedies of the bathroom: when we need one there is nothing more important, but once we have used it we simply go about our lives as if we’ve never needed to pee at all.

Brooklyn bathroom graffiti at Three Diamond Door in Bushwick

The bathroom graffiti inside the bathroom may not be a work of art like at LP & Harmony, mysterious like Molasses Books, or serve as a layer of paint like at 101 Wilson, but it goes beyond the standard to downright decorative given the variety of color.

Everything in this bathroom seems to be a bit askew, which is to say, missing or broken. You’ve heard of exposed brick? How about exposed lighting and exposed A/C vent?

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Where’s that vent? Oh, there it is, sweetly resting on the top of the commode. The soap dispenser, seamlingly ripped like a Tetris piece from its holster, is compensated by the pump-it-out-of-me alternative on the sink.

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And this trash bag-less trashcan seems to be politely telling me to buzz off…

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Also, I’m not sure what happens if you flick this switch. I can only assume that the devil appears in a cloud of red smoke. Farfetched? Maybe. Worth finding out? No way!

2 scary 4 real!

2 scary 4 real!

Rubber Duckie Rating

The Three Diamond Door is a beloved neighborhood hang. With multiple options, you have to love the ready availability of a WC when you have to wee… and while it certainly marks above average, there’s just not quite enough here to put The Diamond’s washrooms among Brooklyn’s elite. Still, I encourage you to stop in for a drink and explorer what’s behind each door.

3/5 Rubber Duckies

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